Do not be deceived by the short nature of the word 'OR', it is a tyrannical oppressor. I realise that might sound a little dramatic. However, give me two minutes and I will show you why.
‘OR’ is constructed in order to give you the illusion of choice. As the receiver of the choice between option A or option B, we are often conditioned to think of this as freedom of choice. When in fact, ‘OR’ is herding us, like an invisible sheepdog, into pen A or B. This is acceptable for sheep. It is completely unacceptable for us.
Let’s take a simple example; you are having apple pie for dessert at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “would you like ice-cream or custard (crème anglaise) with that?” The implication is that nothing is not an option. Neither is both. Cream is not possible either, although you can have it with the fruit salad. For the record, I always have both. I recommend it highly to you. Not just for apple pie (although it is amazing) try it with other things too. It can literally cause chaos in fast-food restaurants. Asking for both ketchup and brown sauce on my breakfast wrap, at a certain establishment, crashed their computers. 10 minutes later I had a free wrap with both ketchup and brown sauce.
I have observed this ‘OR’ type thinking hundreds and hundreds of times. In myself, as well as others. The good news is that there is an antidote. It is the power of ‘AND’. I had a friend, who was wrestling with the question of her professional life. Her heart was clearly pulling her towards a future in horticulture. That would require study. Her head was rationalising her responsibilities, including paying the bills. This meant getting her consulting business up and running quickly. Her question was, “should I get into horticulture or focus on my new business?” Just asking the question, “can you see a way you could do both horticulture ‘AND’ the new business?” resulted in a major change of thinking and results.
When being presented with an ‘OR’ choice, whether by yourself or others, be cautious. Do I want any of the options I am being presented with, or is there something better? Use the antidote of ‘AND’ to defeat ‘OR’ the oppressor. If nothing else, your desserts and breakfasts might be more delicious, or even free!
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Be happy, healthy and helpful
Paul
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