Getting in touch with someone who has had a positive impact on my life and thank them, seemed like a relatively simple #MindfulMay challenge to me. I started by mentally listing people I wanted to thank. After 5 minutes or so the list had already become enormous. I was also starting to feel quite emotional. My goodness, there are so many! Family, friends, teachers, bosses, colleagues, mentors, coaches, I was overwhelmed.
The next step was my rational brain kicking in. Who hadn’t I thanked, that was most deserving? This did not help at all… Each was unique, there was no sensible scale to balance one against the other. I comforted myself a little with the thought that surely most of them already knew how grateful I was. I realised how many of them I had no way of reaching, some of them have already sadly passed away.
I felt a sense of embarrassment when thinking about showing the gratitude that I wanted to. I think this might be a cultural thing for me. I like to think of myself as well mannered. A simple thank you has felt somewhat insufficient compared to how grateful I felt, and this imbalance renders me mute and embarrassed.
I took a moment to step back from the challenge and reflect. One word came up several times. Bonkers. Being overwhelmed with gratitude to the point of not being able to verbalise it is surely bonkers. Time for a change. I am turning that mental list into a written one. I will work my way through it and be mindful of that feeling so I overcome it at the time from now on…
How was day 17 for you? Did you manage to thank someone?
Be happy, healthy and helpful
Paul
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